The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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