Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
