ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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