Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
