he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
