This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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