dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
