So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
