fuck your aforementioned shoe
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
