it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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