Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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