I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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