We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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