I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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