Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
