i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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