All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
honey bunches of taint.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
