i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
