At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
