as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
