Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
