I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
