If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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