ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
