Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
