For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
