I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
