ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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