wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
where are my eyebrows?
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