they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
