Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
