I want to walk on stilts...naked
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
