I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
