Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
