YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
