Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
