So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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