Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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