Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
