Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
