Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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