when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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