Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
