3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
