Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
