I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
