you would pick up someone in the library
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
