Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
