Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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