I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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