so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
