Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
